Structure has integrity. Change your dysfunctional structure(s) and you’ll change your experience of life.
Co-regulation is not only what we as human beings are wired for, but a biological imperative. Feeling 'safe' is key to combatting stress and feelings of hopelessness.
However, as I have found in my personal life and as a therapeutic bodyworker, in order to successfully tend to the safety of another, especially a child's, we must tend to our own sense of safety, first. If we don't learn to self-regulate and control our emotions, there will always be a gap between our perception and the way things really are.
Our nervous systems are designed to be flexible and move in and out of survival states. However, when our lives are out of balance, we function mostly from survival states where the generous, present moment is unavailable to us. Our minds believe everything equal to fear and/or hostility - even when it's not present. These hyper or hypo-arousal states tap our body's resources of vital health, energy and regeneration.
When we embrace the predictable nature of our Autonomic Nervous System, we are able to regulate our bodies properly. Learning how to self-regulate allowed me not only an intellectual journey of my biology, but it led me into a zone where I finally felt safe enough to live, not survive.
With self-regulation, I could calmly negotiate the subconscious thoughts, feelings and belief systems that kept me oscillating in detrimental habits, behaviours and relationships. Accepting my humanness allowed me to dissolve the suppressed shame about how, and why, my body decided it had to keep me safe.
Today, I play mostly in the present moment and should life take me into stress, I know how to limit the time I spend there.
The impact self-regulation has had on my family and my electromagnetic signature (what I create, attract and manifest) has been life-changing.
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