Understanding our body's biology, breath and energy shouldn't be rocket science. It shouldn't be a mystery either, especially not to those who have, or work with, children.
These concepts, albeit in some ways quite complicated, should be accessible in plain and simple English, pictures, scripts and step-by-step guidance to every single child born. Unfortunately, babies can't read so The Restore Method is for you, their parent, grandparent, carer, teacher, friend, guide.
As a therapeutic bodyworker I have listened to plenty of frustrated and worried parents lamenting their children's sudden outbursts and/or shutdowns.
Parent: "Can you sort them out?"
Tani: "Mm. I can sort them for the moment, yes. What happens when you go home, though?"
Parent: "Yeah." Looks off in the distance, perturbed. Sighs.
Tani: "You though. How about I show you how to sort you? That usually sorts them. I found that worked for me, anyway."
Parent: Looks terrified. "Sounds great, but I really don't have the time."
Tani: "Ok." Starts writing.
That was March 2022.
The Restore Method is for all the "busy" parents out there. Who, like me, never made the time to learn how to properly regulate myself. Until I had to.
I offer you this guide as a way to empower you to become an active operator of five essential systems of your body and how to apply it to daily living.
I wrote it in an order so you can explore the separate elements as they flow into the other. How your Autonomic Nervous System is predictable in its response to life's stresses. How your nervous system informs your breath and your energy, and how your thoughts and emotions can influence what manifests in your life. How important simple, short moments of stillness are and how much difference a little bit of creative connection can make.
The children I've had the pleasure of meeting and guiding in my creative regulation sessions come from all walks of life. However, they all have one thing in common: Those kids might enjoy my sessions but they don't really want me to regulate them. They want their parents to do it.
Time and time again, it is confirmed back to me. I can show a child they are reverse breathing and how to correct it. They go home, the parent doesn't check it - no hope.
I can suggest a 1:1 regulation session to an angst-ridden, exhausted parent. They say "I don't have the time, can I just send my child?" No chance they'll know how regulate another.
I can show a teenager who can spends in excess of 20 hours online, how to fix his reverse polarity flow, but if his parent thinks energy polarity is spiritual whoo-whoo, forget about it.
I see hyper-vigilant children become panicked during a guided awareness. These young people's minds are frantic when things around them are calm. Why? Because they have a history of witnessing domestic violence. Being on alert is what keep them safe - or so the survival brain tells them, anyway. If the parent isn't interested in regulating for that nervous system state, or denies the trauma has affected their child, they'll go home, shrug at the tools I've shared and there the child will remain. Only eventually, their brains will follow its predictable pattern into shutdown. There awaits unhealthy coping mechanisms and yes, possibly depression.
I always invite parents into regulation sessions with their children.
WOW! When that mum lies down and breathes into her diaphragm for the first time in probably years, her young boys quickly follow suit. I witness as they all breathe deeply and all have some kind of emotional release. The mother cries. Her older son talks about what is really bothering him at school. The little one, who didn't want to attend today, says he wants to go play outside now and come back tomorrow. Mum's body is exhausted, the release has given her more questions than answers. She is really the one who needs to come back. She's a single mum. She's too busy.
I keep writing.
The little family explore more techniques. Their curiosity grows.
"Why do I feel so much better, mum?"
"What did that lady do?"
You did it, little mate. In under 15 minutes, I just shared with you The Restore Method.
Five essential elements I combined that regulated me out of alcohol addiction (and yes, probably undiagnosed depression) and my daughter out of debilitating panic attacks.
Do I still want to drink alcohol? Often! Do I still feel down, some days? Absolutely. Do I still drink alcohol? Hard no. Do I still stay stuck in feeling hopeless? Harder no. Did my daughter re-enter her school environment because it suddenly became a safe place with safe people? No! In fact, it still had the same elements her nervous system deemed un-safe when she re-entered, but when she went back, she had her Restore tools with her. Yes, we use it and often, because she still has the same nervous system. Growing more resilient by the day but she, like me, still has the same, predictable nervous system, prone to shutdown.
To create this guide, work-book and self-awareness manual, I have drawn on my own training, experience and client experiences and the vast knowledge from people whose careers and teachings have not only influenced, but changed my life, irrevocably.
In particular, pioneers Dr Stephen Porges, Donna Eden, Dr Len Hew, Robert Fritz and Dr Joe Dispenza, along with brilliant minds and teachers Jon Paul Crimi and William Whitecloud have shaped the basis for The Restore Method approach. Their teachings provided and continue to provide me with the foundation of my understanding of the Autonomic Nervous System, Energy Medicine, Breathwork, Meditation, and Creativity/Alchemy. Their work and contribution to my life in either training and/or a research capacity is impossible to quantify.
It is my hope this offering allows any parent and/or facilitator of calm in a child's life to be able to not only access proven tools and techniques for daily use but to feel inspired enough to use this as a springboard into a journey of self-awareness and understanding.
It is my hope the Creativity section with its generous sessions content offers bodyworkers, practitioners, facilitators, guides, teachers and leaders with a passion on these subjects to present the content to groups in sessions or workshop as a way to bolster their repertoires and to contribute to their communities. I know for certain the groups I have presented it to, gained hours of fun, joy and laughter from it. Similarly, I hope this guide support every parent with ease of use and valuable connection with their children, especially on the tougher days.
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